We hear versions of this conversation many times.
“I’m worried. If an unexpected bill comes in, it is always a stretch to find the money, so out comes the credit card. We just get that paid off and then something else comes up. With our income, we should have money left over at the end of the month, but there never is. Quite frankly, I’m sick of it.”
This was the first time ‘Susan’ had ever heard her husband speak like that. The look on his face said it all, she had no idea that he was that worried.
“But honey,” she said, “when we talk about money and I want to buy something, you never say no.”
“I feel like saying no, I wish I could but then I feel like I’m being a scrooge, so I don’t say anything. Besides, you work hard and you deserve to have what you want.”
Sound like you?
When we meet a couple for the first time, one of our first questions is, why have you contacted us?
Sometimes it is a big life changing event like a wedding, a baby, a milestone birthday or a divorce that prompts clients to seek us out.
Just as often, maybe even more so, it is the constant grind of life. Waking in the night, that anxious, maybe even sick feeling in the pit of the stomach about money. Knowing that you have to change the way you do things but haven’t a clue how.
At one end of the spectrum are the couples that don’t talk about money; they yell at each other about money. Sometimes the arguments are really about money, but quite often money is the mask for other issues in the relationship.
We can work together and work through the money stuff, but if the arguments continue. This is a couple in crisis who need a different type of help and support.
Somewhere in the middle of this spectrum are our couple above, they are that we call our ‘in love couples’. They don’t fight about money, they do talk about money (the reality is they skirt tenderly around the edges), but it’s just not clicking for them financially as a couple.
Then there are those that have mostly achieved money mastery.
They know how to talk effectively about money, they find it easy, they have goals and plans for their finances and for their relationship.
One of the brilliant spin-offs about being in this last category, is that they aren’t just better money managers – they’re what being a better money manager has made them into.
They have realised that the stress/anxiety/worries (around money) hugely impacts all their relationships: friends, work, family.
They have that optimism, the forward-looking excitement; that same feeling of being in that early stage of a madly in love relationship where you can’t wait for everything life is going to throw your way.
Couples that are good at having honest, open, and ongoing dialogues about finances are more intimately connected and satisfied.
They proactively manage their families and lives and focus on enjoying each other and the things they love to do. And they have create a positive and loving environment for their kids.
The good news is that is that it is possible to achieve money mastery. Learn that NO is not a negative in the context of a loving relationship where you are both committed to your future.
Feel that honeymoon happiness again – financially. Remove your uncertainty and open your mind to financial freedom.
So, fix your money and your whole life will change.
Take our FREE Money Personality quiz to kick off your journey to financial freedom!